Greetings from all of us here at Serenity Now.
I (Brooke) want to thank you for all that you mean to us.
I knew that with Valentine’s Day only a couple of weeks away, the topic of relationships was probably on some of our minds. Relationships, to a major extent, define our lives. How do we get to have loving, harmonious ones vs. some of the ones that bring us to the brink of madness?
Just like magic, the Universe brought me an answer in the form of a 2012 animated movie called “Brave.” Please forgive the spoiler alert, but I wanted to get into some details that I found enlightening.
The story takes place in a Kingdom in Scotland and is about fate, destiny and magic. Then again, maybe no matter where we live, our lives are about fate, destiny and magic.
One line in the movie says “fate is woven together like a cloth so that one’s destiny intertwines with many others.” This is when I knew this movie was going to give me some answers in regards to relationships. Of course in this email, I am not thinking about only romantic ones, but all kinds.
The hero of the movie is an adorable young princess named Merida, who is a tomboy through and through. The queen, having the best of intentions, was preparing her to be the future ruler of the kingdom. The Princess starts resenting the constant schooling, expectations, obligations and the feeling that her every move was controlled by her mother, and starts rebelling.
Some things were said. The princess says to the queen: “I’d rather die than be like you.” Some things were done. The queen threw the princess’s most beloved hunting bow into the fireplace and nearly destroyed it.
At this point, Merida had had all she could take and ran out of the castle, got on her horse and rode out into the wind. She ended up in a witch’s cottage. The witch fit all the old stereotypes, complete with hairs on her chin. The princess realized that maybe she could change her fate, and told the witch that the problem was her mother, and if a spell could change the queen, then she could have the life and freedom she always wanted.
At this point in the movie I knew something horrible was about to happen. I guess we could call it foreshadowing, but really, it was something deeper. The angels were reminding me of a fundamental truth about relationships. For the real change to happen, I have to be the one who is willing to make the shift. First of all, to change someone else is impossible. To attempt the impossible is, in itself, exhausting. Plus it does not work. Of course the spell did work, kind of like I knew it would. The queen did change, but she transformed into the most despised animal in the kingdom.
I think many of us fall into this category of people who wish that others in our lives would change. Almost every day, folks come in the store asking for help in changing their wife, husband, boss, mother and children. I wish I had a nickel for each of those requests. I would be rich beyond measure.
So the rest of the movie was about how they really heal the relationship. This begins as each of them starts to notice the things that they had taken for granted, like how deep the love between them had been.
I don’t know if anyone can tell us what a healed relationship looks like for us, but we are all deserving, and if two parties are willing, I think we can realistically expect magic to unfold.